I woke up before 8 am and let the dogs out first thing. I have 2 and my friend’s tiny dog was also here for a few days of pet sitting. I fed the dogs and my 3 cats, then got my coffee and settled down to read. My habit is to sit on a large floor pad in my dining room so the dogs can flank me and the cats can intrude as much as possible into my personal space. For November, I have been reading “W is for Wasted” by Sue Grafton, having started her entire Alphabet Series sometimes last year at the insistence of family. I am late to every ball game. Grafton has up and and died and never completed her series, so I will need to move on to other reading material soon, but I have grown quite find of Kinsey Millhone. She reminded my sisters of me and I agree with that assessment. Her priorities of living a no-nonsense life with no kids speaks to my priorities.
About 10 am I took a break since my butt was sore from sitting on my floor cushions and I did my mini workout of tummy crunches on a yoga ball and small hand weights. They are only 8 lbs, but regular use of the last 2 years has improved my strength by a great deal. I am hoping the habit has also improved my bone density as that became an issue 2 decades ago. Having hit menopause, maintaining my bone density is now more important than ever, so I made a bargain with my bones to do my part.
My mini workouts are brief, so I got back to reading by 10:15, then have to put the book down again at 11 am and head to the nursing home to see my P. Either my sister or I go to visit him every day at lunch time. We sit with him during his meal, then toilet him and walk him around for the daily exercise he has been accustomed to his whole life.
Prior to my Dad visit I needed to stop by Walmart to pick up incontinence pads for my male dog’s wrap. I got there fast and had a guy bring my package out to me in my truck, yet he also tried to drop off a bag of cookies that I did not order. I fessed up that I paid for no cookies and just took my pads. An annual Walmart subscription of $99 allows me to do my grocery shopping online, then schedule a pick up anytime I want. To me, grocery pick up and delivery is THE BEST outcome from Covid shut downs as grocery shopping sucks. I HATE it. I prefer having an extra hour of my day at home instead of wandering around the store looking for groceries several times a month. Relaxation is a priority of mine.
I arrived across town at Dad’s by 11:40 and greeted familiar folks as I walked to the far back where Dad is behind two sets of locked doors. There is a more intensive Alzheimer’s unit within the main Alz Unit. Dad is in the more intensive one. I went to his room first to hang up my purse and do our “room sweep” which is what my sister and I call our daily checks through drawers and the closet in order to locate oddly placed items or clothing and objects that aren’t his. We also go through his laundry pockets since washed cookies make a mess in my sister’s washing machine if they get missed in pockets. She does his laundry herself bc facility laundry so frequently gets misplaced.
My room sweep offered up no surprises, so I went on down to sit with him at his dining room table where he has regular table mates. I call the man who sits across from him “Grandpa” as he resembles my mother’s father. Dad and Grandpa can both eat independently. There are two other ladies who sit at that table and need assistance with feeding and the aides who assist with “the feeds” on this unit are mostly all so very kind and caring. The dining room is almost always so calm and quiet and Thursday was no different.
I always chat with Grandpa and offer him coffee or milk refills. He usually agrees to those refills, yet isn’t much for conversation. Grandpa has a much better appetite than my Dad and usually has staff trotting back to the kitchen for second servings or an extra cheeseburger in order to fill him up. One day I sat down and wondered why the facility was serving pizza rolls that day, but the feeding aide had given him her own lunch bc Grandpa was still hungry! This is how caring the staff are there. Being in a nursing home daily allows me to see the care and attention these healthcare givers afford to their charges. It’s easy to assume anyone in a nursing home has a terrible life, but actually being in the facilities offers insight into a great deal of kindness and compassion that occurs daily. This has resulted in me feeling less dread at my own future reality of living in one some day. I have no kids that would be tasked with the stewardship and advocacy of my own future worn-out body and mind, so it offers me hope to see the inner workings of such facilities.
By noon, dad had eaten as much as he cared to and I didn’t push him. I cleared his place setting of his plate and extra drinks, but left his nutritional shake for him to finish. State rules require an overwhelming amount of drink options for residents. However, I feel that so many cups is just overstimulating and confusing to folks like my Dad. I understand the thought process of offering many drink options to folks who have limited expressive communication abilities, but it angers me the State regulations focus on bullshit like “family style meals” with no tray under their plates while offering 4 different cups of liquids when Indiana also fought against improving minimum nursing care staffing for these same facilities. What the fuck is wrong with their priorities?!
After Dad was done sitting in the dining room, I walked him to his room, which is really close by. He has a walker and we have to guide him to his room (because he doesn’t remember which one is his), then into his restroom. We learned the hard way to never walk him without a trip to the restroom first. He needs hand on assistance in there to stay clean, but neither my sis nor I mind this. We don’t ask for staff assistance for things we can help with.
He finished up in the RR and then I was able to enter a door code to walk us onto the larger Alz unit which is where he lived for over a year. Dad is a popular resident and walking him always means frequent stops for cheerful greetings from staff and other residents. There is a lady there who always greets Dad with a hug and a wink. He eats it up and calls her “Grandma” as he can’t recall anyone’s name. I am not actually sure he knows MY name, or even that I am his daughter, but that matters not to me now days. What matters now is that he is smiling and sings his silly tunes that he makes up and himself as he does through our walk. Those are my priorities.
I left Dad’s at my usual time, around 1pm. After our walk, I relocated him to the lazy boy chair in his room. I usually crack open a 7 up and cut up half of a soft cookie for him to snack on as I leave. I never say goodbye, I just wave and walk out. Saying goodbye can often result in Dad getting up to announce he is going with me, so I have learned to leave in a low key manner.
I got home before 2pm and let the dogs out then made a quick lunch of 2 small grilled cheese sandwiches and carrot sticks. I also had a Little Debbie cookie because what I have learned in Dad’s old age is: life is too short to worry about skipping things that are “bad for you”, so just eat the damn cookie. (Or pie, or ice cream.) Cookie priorities.
I had to leave for work at 3:05, so I snuggled with the dogs some more in between lunch and my commute. I had to crate my big dog before I could leave and make sure the two smaller dogs were in diapers as they are known to wee inside if not.
I arrived at work by 3:30. I clocked in on my phone app. This shift was for my home care job where I have an autistic client that I have been helping at home since 2018. On that Thursday, I needed to meet him at his school for musical practice. I also have a position working at this school one day a week as an aide, and another third job as a substitute teacher in special needs classes for that same school system.
I met the kid and his troupe, then we walked as a group to the HS next door for the dress rehearsal of their school musical. I didn’t have to fill in on a spotlight which was a task the director had asked of me on the previous day. That was fun! I had never done that before and was very nervous, but it was enjoyable and not as challenging as I feared.
I just watched the kids running a full dress rehearsal until at 6 pm. The director had Chik Fil A food for the kids and I was able to partake of the macaroni and cheese. I had never eaten Chik Fil A before, but it was ok. I drove the boy home at 6:30 pm and left him with his family.
I drove myself back to Muncie and arrived by 7:30 when I went through my dog potty routine all over again. It was also doggie dinner time. I fed them and washed all their bowls. I needed to get up early for my Friday school aide job, so I had to shower, then went to bed. The dogs needed to go out again and rewrapped in diapers. I gave night meds to myself and my male pooch then went to bed with streaming tv. I don’t have cable, just pay $7 a month for Netflix and get free Paramount through my annual Walmart subscription. TV isn’t really a priority, for me, but it is a guaranteed way to put me to sleep.
I fell asleep by 10 pm.