Diary Day February 14, 2025
I’m up at 7:00am this morning after meditation and stretching. I had leg cramps last night probably the result of consuming my Valentine day Chocolate before bed. Most mornings this month, I have been enjoying a ginger and turmeric coffee latte with steamed oat milk.
My grandson wants to have lucid dreams and asks me each morning if I remember mine. So, I have been trying to do it. I tell him that we must train our brains and that we become what we think. I actually said that to him just last night.
In last night’s dream, I was running through the woods with my partner and a young boy when we came upon what I will call a creekbed (pronounced crickbed). My partner with his extra long legs scaled it. I was left standing there trying to decide if the boy could clear it. Somehow, I knew that I would have to trudge through the mud.
I realize now that I went to sleep while pondering my choices of having a new roof put on a building that I own or becoming an expatriate. Do I move my grandson’s Mother in with me and continue working until I really can’t? What was that I heard about cutting Social Security? Wait!! Do you mean they are cutting Medicare? They can’t be serious. Can they? What will people do?
I cannot wrap my mind around the apparent possibilities of another Civil War. Don’t say that you weren’t warned, the source said. Really? I have heard this twice now once from a friend who is an Astrologer and well respected by me. Another was a survivalist military/christian/republican trying to sell a book.
I have had many occasions over my sixty-six years to realize the fragility of life. Still. I have remained hopeful that I was going to enjoy the comfortable retirement that I have worked toward. Admittedly, I feel a little guilty that my life is really really good. It is very comfortable. I know that I am privileged. Sometimes I am overwhelmed with the trauma that people very close to me face every day. Yet nothing compares to the atrocities that I feel face the people around the world. The news and social media bring it in so close to those of us who are paying attention today.
The dream that I had last night affirms subconsciously that I will trudge right through the muck in hopes for a good healthy life for everyone that I know.
8am. It’s time to wake L up. I don’t think his alarm went off.
I listen to NPR every morning without fail. Although every day I also have the thought of boycotting the news. Many people who I have known for years are experiencing severe stress. I find myself weighing not only my survival but the survival of humanity. I tend to do what needs to be done and then I pride myself on my tenacious approach to survival. Many family members and friends are shocked at my stance. Hearing that we could be faced with a Civil War when it has already felt like a Social Media war for a couple of years feels like the apex of the crisis. Personally, I am shocked at the lack of responses from friends and family that I thought I knew well. What can anyone do?
What do we call the systematic annihilation of the whole population of people? Genocide? How can we know who is responsible for this when everyone is involved? These are a few of the thoughts that are rumbling around in my mind today. When I was studying at BSU we talked a lot about World Peace and saving the planet. Population has at least quadrupled now. Forty-five years later I wonder if we have learned anything at all.
We humans are not meant to carry the weight of the world but to strive to live compassionately for the preservation of the planet and humanity. This is the highest purest intention. I know it must have been said many times and most likely better.
It’s 8:20 and almost time to take my Grand-son to school and our dog L has not come in. L is crying.
L came in. L went to school. I had a chiropractic appointment at 9am.
I spent two hours sitting in my car waiting for L’s Mom to go with me to the Health Department to get his Birth Certificate. She was living in a trailer that was repossessed and she was unable to retrieve her personal items. Long story short now she is Homeless which in the State of Indiana is a criminal offence. She is trying really hard and never seems to get a break. I help her as much as she will let me. Her own parents do not. He doesn’t know any of this. He is doing well in school and he maintains a happy disposition and loves his Mother very much. Ours is not an unusual story. I know this for a fact.
Before going home I stop to do our weekly shopping at Aldi. For a family of three I spend about $167 and I make almost everything from scratch especially during garden season. So, we avoid heavily processed foods. My favorite thing about shopping at Aldi other than the affordability is the interaction with people over the carts. It’s always a friendly well meaning and generous exchange between the shoppers whether or not you have a quarter.
2pm. I made a salad of cooked sweet potato, spinach, sweeties (oranges) and yellow peppers, avocado and sunflower seeds. My seed order arrived in the mail.
4pm. I picked L up from school. He said they had a great concert for Black History Month. I am very impressed with both the choir and the band program at Northside Middle School.
5pm. My husband J agrees to take L To KookSool (Martial Arts) while I finish up here and then make dinner. I always wish we would talk a little softer and be a little more patient but, we are not. None of us are patient enough it seems.
6pm. It’s time that I cook.
Our family is rich with Love. Our love is deep and pure and we carry the blessings and prayers of family members that have gone on into eternity before us. As the lines between the haves and the have nots in the world become more and more skewed and we are face to face with inequities across the globe I find myself striving for this the sanctuary of familiar love. I take refuge in the breath and my own willingness to connect with a higher purpose of compassionate existence and the Source of all that is Good.
We must strive to stay alive even though we cannot save the whole world. So that Goodness may prevail. May it be so.
Peace