EDLM August 1, 2025
What identities are important to you?
I’m an analytical person who thinks about this subject for myself and others quite frequently. The human brain tries to make sense of things by comparing and contrasting, by putting anything and everything in categories. It’s only human nature to do this, but sometimes labels can be divisive. We can’t help seeing differences among people; there’s no sense in faking blindness, but why does it have to turn ugly?
For instance, the whole generational labels paradigm has caused so much rancor between people because of accusatory and minimizing assertions, with one generation trying to prove its superiority over another.
My Instagram feed is full of younger people making fun of Boomers for everything from technological incompetence to being intrusive to being unavailable to babysit to using two spaces after a period. Boomers are resented for having pensions and free time.
Millennials have been accused of being lazy and uncommitted to jobs; Gen Z is now being roasted for the infamous “blank stare,” seen as a signal of disrespect or social incompetence.
The generations are snipping at each other like little dogs that bark for hours on end. It’s annoying and depressing.
I don’t see my Millennial children as lazy at all. My youngest has said she never wanted a career in a cubicle (slightly insulting to her dad who provided very well for her her whole life from a cubicle, in meeting after meeting) but we never took serious offense to her decision. She’s happy doing social work in a school setting, on her feet all day, one day different from the next. My husband, her dad, had the same sort of feeling about his own dad who worked for the local water company all of my husband’s life; that is, my husband said he did not want to work with his hands as his dad did on freezing winter evenings in soggy trenches in Muncie. I’m sure he never voiced that to his father, though, because he respected his dad. He just wanted something different.
Why can’t we choose different ways without disparaging the ones who went before us?
I was born at the tail-end of the Boomers, so my memories and experiences align more with Gen X. But I would say my values are in solid Boomer territory.
Which leads me to my next personal identity, that of being Christian.
So wow, I embody the dominant two categories everyone loves to hate and blame for every ill in the world: Boomers and Christians.
What can I say. I am what I am.
I believe in the tenets of Christianity. I try to live by Micah 6:8: “He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” I ask God for a renewed, humble heart every day and for Him to help me see where I can be of help that day, whether it’s through giving time, money, emotional support or counsel (if asked). I ask God to make me less stingy in all of these ways. That’s a big ask for an introvert and somebody with scarcity issues.
I try to be a good citizen of the world while holding the faith deep in my heart that my true citizenship is not of this world. But I am tasked with aiding in “thy kingdom come” here on earth. So that means I’m not sitting idly by waiting on the sweet by and by. I love people; I literally delight in them and love to hear their stories. I help wherever I can, especially in the local schools.
Many people live their lives similarly to this, but for me, Jesus is the cornerstone. He is my shepherd; I am not offended one bit for someone to call me a “sheep.” I know my Shepherd, and He knows me. All other details of my life are offshoots of that. I am thrilled to identify as His sheep!
As far as my political beliefs, I think people could never guess most of them. Some are far right and some are far left.
I identify next as a grandmother. I think that role has come to the forefront of my everyday life more than I anticipated. I am not key in my kids’ lives anymore. I instigate almost all communication. They’re pleasant and good to me, but I’m definitely not a priority.
I am also acutely aware of being part of a married couple, as married as they come. We just celebrated 40 years of marriage.
Let’s see … Christian, Boomer, Grandmother, Wife, Friend, Volunteer. That might be about it except for interests that people tend to embrace as identities. In that case, I could say, “I’m a runner.”
Is Muncie congenial to my identities? I can’t say that on a daily basis I feel ostracized or marginalized. But when I read public comments on StarPress articles, they echo those comments I noted before, totally anti-Christian and Boomer. I see that frequently, and I’m not surprised, just saddened.
I am very aware that as a human, I’m on my way out. I’m entering the winter of the seasons of life. I smile when I sing the lyrics to John Mellencamp’s “I’m Not Running Anymore:”
“Well, I look in the mirror, what the hell happened to me?
Whatever I had has gone away
I’m not the young kid that I used to be
So I push the hair back out of my face
That’s okay, I knew this would happen
But I was hopin’ not today
Hey baby, I’m not running anymore
But I’m on my way”
It’s about less panic concerning who I am and where I’m going. I’ve come to terms with my past mistakes (through the grace of God) and I accept who I am now, an older person of faith who is interested in people and interested in learning.
And I think of the last frame of Mellencamp’s “Small Town” video where he’s standing under the Seymour sign, and he swings his arm and hand in front of his body and to the side as if to demonstrate, “I’m outta here.” And the screen shows in his handwriting, “See ya!” I feel that scene.
I relate to standing under a Muncie sign, the umbrella of my life. I see my little southside childhood house, the yard, the street … my schools, friends, boyfriends, cheerleading years … I see myself as a Ball State Cardinal, then wife, then mom … I see myself as a daughter who loved and appreciated her parents and still does … I see myself as the older love of my husband, his forever friend. I see myself and all my days in an ebb and flow of prayer since I was a little girl. I see myself as Nana now, supplier of ice creams and fairy day and gingerbread parties. I am grateful for it all. And 99% of it happened in Muncie, and “that’s probably where they’ll bury me.”